Been a While

Yes it's been a while here, but that's because I was on my week (and a day) break, and I had much better things to do. But now I'm back, back in Dodge City, ready to get the last leg of this season over and done with so I can go back to a somewhat more normal life, at least I am hoping so!!

The strange thing is I've been in a particularly good mood since I've come back out. I have no idea why though. I don't think it's because I know I won't be out here much longer, I haven't been thinking about that, because thinking about it will make the time go by much slower. I'm not sure just what it is. I think I have hope for the future again. 

Oddly enough I've been thinking a lot about my past and the people in my past. When I've thought about that stuff earlier this year it made me depressed, but now it doesn't completely come across that way. It's actually been kind of good to think about some of my past life events and the people in them, perhaps because I'm reminded that the further back I go the fewer people I knew. How does this relate to my future of hope (and change, blech! no time for that political stuff just right now...)? 

The fun times and fun people I can think about in my past at one time were my future. In 2002 I had no idea the people I would know and the things I would do in 2005, and so on. So I realize that, as much as I miss a lot of people from my past, when 2012 rolls around I can imagine there will be a bunch of new people and new events that take place in my life, and even though I don't know what it is yet I can look forward to it. I've come to the realization my life didn't end this past May (even though it felt like it). I have a lot more in front of me and I have to get over the fact a lot of people from my past I will probably never see again, and certainly the events that took place can NEVER take place again, but there will be new people and new events to look forward to.

So despite having no plan after September I am feeling much better than I was just a few months ago. I feel like something is going to happen in my near future, something good. Also adding to my contentment right now is the feeling I've had a few burdens lifted off of me after this past week. Some are great to get rid of, others bittersweet, but all will keep me moving forward and not dwelling on the past (even if I have been thinking a lot about it recently). 

Tonight I spent some time going through some archived e-mails dating all the way back to 2002. It was a nice trip back, it brought up some things I forgot even happened, and also made me question some of the events that would transpire over the following years. But overall it was just a nice trip back, not really all that depressing or sad, just, um, interesting.

Now I say I feel content and hopeful for the future, let's just see what horrible event takes place at work tomorrow to wipe all that out!!